I've had a lot of people on other sites asking me for advice on sugar dating and how to navigate it. I figured I'd write up a bit of a guide. I've wanted to do one of these for a while, and now that I'm on a plane with some free time, I can finally get to it. I thought this could also be a great discussion thread, so feel free to add your thoughts and share your experiences.
What is Sugar Dating:
Sugar dating differs for everyone and encompasses a wide variety of arrangements, varying significantly under its broad umbrella. It typically involves an older, financially successful man spending time with a younger, often attractive woman. Often, it resembles escorting, where the man directly pays the woman an allowance for their time together. However, it can also be simply a case of a woman dating a wealthy man who spoils her with nice dinners, experiences, gifts, and more. And alot of times its something in between.
Advantages of Sugar Dating over escorts:
-There is a significantly larger pool of women interested in sugar dating who have no desire to engage in escorting. As a result, there are many more "sugar babies" than escorts.
-Because there are more sugar babies, along with greater discretion, reduced stigma, and fewer expectations, sugar dating often draws more attractive, mentally stable, and younger women compared to escorting.
-Most women who are sugar babies operate at a significantly lower volume than escorts.
-Can provide a much deeper sense of emotional connection and fulfillment, among other things.
-Arrangements are more customized to meet the needs of both individuals and tend to be less time-restrained and less transactional.
-Significantly less prone to being catfished or misled about a woman's age or looks
Advantages of Escorts over Sugar Dating:
-The transaction is more clear and transparent, you clearly understand what you're getting for the price you pay and the time you invest.
-Less paper trail and communication
-Typically more discrete
-Escorts are (almost) always able to host and have an incall
-Usually available on the same day, can accommodate last-minute requests, or can be pre-booked well in advance, making it much less flaky and more business like
-Services are typically listed and advertised clearly.
-More specialized services (example: massage)
-Greater recourse is available if you are misled by promised services, or false claims about age and appearance, due to review boards and similar mechanisms.
-Generally, they will accommodate anyone who passes their initial light screening and pays the required rate, with minimal to no discrimination or refusal of services based on appearance, age, or similar factors. (advantage for the ugly guys)
Where to source sugar babies:
-Sugar Sites: while they seemed more popular and had more members five years ago, still serve as valuable resources for finding sugar babies, especially since the intentions of both parties are usually clear. I've noticed that many girls create an account, connect with one or a few guys, then temporarily delete their accounts before repeating the process, so staying active and checking frequently is important. I've only used Seeking, but there are other platforms and apps as well, perhaps someone else can provide more detail on those. In my experience, having a premium account on Seeking is essential for success, as it shows you are serious, aren't completely broke, also allows you to share private photos.
-Dating Apps are, in my opinion, one of the best ways to find sugar babies nowadays. For starters, you know that the people you’re engaging with are single. If you want to avoid getting a "sugar daddy" reputation, it's important to be subtle. You'll likely come across some girls who aren’t interested, but you'll be surprised at how many are, especially if you’re decent-looking and younger. I've used Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge for this purpose, and I find Hinge to be the most effective because you can message someone without needing to match first, although all of them have their merits. Raya is also great especially when travelling, but its tough to get on there for most guys.
-Social Media is an excellent tool for finding sugar babies, particularly Instagram, but platforms like TikTok and Snapchat can also be effective. Similar to dating apps, you'll want to be subtle in your messages, especially if you're using your personal account. Creating a burner account that appears real can work, but you’ll likely have better success with an authentic-looking profile, especially if you're attractive or showcase a luxurious lifestyle. I have a second burner Instagram that doesn’t reveal my face and looks legitimate, which I use occasionally, but my personal account has yielded the best results. I usually keep my language vague enough to maintain plausible deniability, and then introduce the sugar daddy concept once the conversation moves to more private channels like text or Snapchat.
-Onlyfans: Not just OnlyFans, but also Fansly and other similar sites. I've had success finding local OnlyFans girls and offering to be their sugar daddy. You just need to be careful with your language because platforms like OnlyFans don’t want you using terms that imply meeting in real life. However, most OnlyFans girls do have sex for money.
How to be succesful at sugar dating:
The most successful individuals in the realm of sugar dating tend to be those who are reasonably attractive, maintain good physical fitness, possess charisma and conversational skills with women, be relatively young, and have at least above-average financial success. Do you need all of those qualities to succeed in sugar dating? Not necessarily. However, if you aim to attract the most desirable and in-demand women, having most or all of those traits will be important.
If you're extremely wealthy, think $50 to $100 million plus or more, you'll find success relying solely on your money, without needing the other traits. However, if your net worth is between $1 million and $10 million, it's beneficial to possess some additional qualities. For those earning low to mid-six figures or less, you may achieve some level of success, but you'll likely need to target more attainable women unless you have a well-rounded appeal beyond just your finances.
But to be honest, if you’re a good-looking guy who isn’t too old, is fit, and has a bit of charm, you can definitely still succeed. You’ll just need to manage your finances wisely and be shrewd in your negotiations.
Regardless of where you stand, it's important to remember that you're competing with other men, so you should stay sharp and be aware of your strengths. This isn't like hiring escorts, where a provider will see any man who passes their screening, shows up at their door and pays their rate. In sugar dating, the most attractive women can afford to be selective, they can assess and vet potential partners and have plenty of options.
That said, it’s important to recognize your leverage. There are many more sugar babies than there are men who can and want to be sugar daddies. So, if you can afford to be one and possess attractive qualities, you hold more leverage in this dynamic compared to most sugar babies. It’s a straightforward case of supply and demand: sugar daddies are in limited supply and are highly sought after.
Don’t allow women to manipulate you. There are many who may try to take advantage of you, so it’s important to stand your ground. Be ready to walk away or negotiate if someone is asking for too much. If a woman isn’t delivering on her promises or if the arrangement isn’t mutually beneficial, don’t hesitate to step back. Likewise, if she is being rude or disrespectful, it’s best to cease communication. While this may seem like common sense, I thought it was worth mentioning. If you’re a particularly passive or desperate man, you might want to reconsider engaging in sugar dating, as you could end up being exploited.
Do not make an escort your sugar baby. Don’t let escorts shame you for choosing or preferring sugar dating. If you come across an escort on Seeking or if a woman you meet is behaving too much like an escort, walk away. Never turn an escort into a sugar baby. Also, be aware that you might see escorts online using gaslighting and shaming language towards sugar daddies and those who prefer sugar dating; just ignore it. Escorts often see sugar babies as a threat to their business. Many escorts may not be attractive enough to succeed in sugar dating, and if they were, they likely wouldn’t be escorting. Having encountered many escorts in Vancouver and across North America, I've found that the average escort is about a 5 or 6 out of 10 in looks, often even lower. They can’t compete with the 8s and 9s in the sugar baby world, which leads to jealousy and attempts to shame men for pursuing sugar babies. (If you're an escort reading this, I apologize in advance, this message is intended for a male audience. I've encountered many wonderful escorts, Im just being honest, as harsh at it is)
This should be common knowledge, but I'll mention it briefly: Avoid being creepy, disrespectful, or rude, and always practice good hygiene. It really should go without saying.
How to set up an arrangement:
Once you've made contact, share with the potential sugar baby what you're looking for and your terms, and take the time to listen to their perspective as well.
Once you’re aligned, many guys opt to arrange an unpaid "meet and greet," like a quick coffee or drink, to see if there’s a good connection. It’s also an excellent way to verify that the woman resembles her pictures. While some guys may bypass this step or offer a small amount of cash for it, it's generally a common practice in the sugar dating scene. If she’s not receptive to this idea, it may indicate that she has something to hide.
In terms of arrangement types, there’s usually the "standard arrangement," where the guy pays a woman a set monthly amount, and then there's PPM (pay per meet). My experience has been exclusively with PPM, and I’ve had some fairly long-term arrangements. From what I've seen, most women also prefer PPM, as it allows for more flexibility and reduces expectations. Even if you're ultimately interested in a "standard arrangement," I recommend beginning with PPM and transitioning to it once trust has been established.
When it comes to how much you should be paying or the PPM amounts, it can vary significantly based on several factors, such as the duration of each meet and the activities you engage in. It might be wise to establish different PPM rates depending on what you do together and how much time you spend with each other. I believe the amount can vary significantly depending on how much she likes you or how attractive you are. I've had several arrangements where a woman receives a lower PPM amount from me while getting significantly more PPM from another sugar daddy. However, she’s willing to accept less from me because she finds me more appealing than him.
Regarding average PPM amounts, my perspective is based solely on my own experiences. I would estimate that it can range from $0 to $1000 per PPM, with $500 likely being the average amount most girls request. While some may ask for more, being firm about the number you're comfortable with typically results in them agreeing to a lower amount. There are also plenty of women who simply want to date a rich guy and don't expect an allowance. They are interested in experiencing the lifestyle that comes with spending time and doing things with a wealthy man. However, don’t make this assumption if this is what she wants, she will communicate it to you.
While this all seems potentially less costly than hiring escorts, and it can be, and a lot of times is, it really depends on the arrangement, the woman, and the activities you engage in together. Sometimes, when you include expenses like dinners, drinks, hotel rooms, and travel, it can end up being just as expensive, if not more so, than seeing escorts. So, be wise with your finances and avoid spending beyond your means.
What is Sugar Dating:
Sugar dating differs for everyone and encompasses a wide variety of arrangements, varying significantly under its broad umbrella. It typically involves an older, financially successful man spending time with a younger, often attractive woman. Often, it resembles escorting, where the man directly pays the woman an allowance for their time together. However, it can also be simply a case of a woman dating a wealthy man who spoils her with nice dinners, experiences, gifts, and more. And alot of times its something in between.
Advantages of Sugar Dating over escorts:
-There is a significantly larger pool of women interested in sugar dating who have no desire to engage in escorting. As a result, there are many more "sugar babies" than escorts.
-Because there are more sugar babies, along with greater discretion, reduced stigma, and fewer expectations, sugar dating often draws more attractive, mentally stable, and younger women compared to escorting.
-Most women who are sugar babies operate at a significantly lower volume than escorts.
-Can provide a much deeper sense of emotional connection and fulfillment, among other things.
-Arrangements are more customized to meet the needs of both individuals and tend to be less time-restrained and less transactional.
-Significantly less prone to being catfished or misled about a woman's age or looks
Advantages of Escorts over Sugar Dating:
-The transaction is more clear and transparent, you clearly understand what you're getting for the price you pay and the time you invest.
-Less paper trail and communication
-Typically more discrete
-Escorts are (almost) always able to host and have an incall
-Usually available on the same day, can accommodate last-minute requests, or can be pre-booked well in advance, making it much less flaky and more business like
-Services are typically listed and advertised clearly.
-More specialized services (example: massage)
-Greater recourse is available if you are misled by promised services, or false claims about age and appearance, due to review boards and similar mechanisms.
-Generally, they will accommodate anyone who passes their initial light screening and pays the required rate, with minimal to no discrimination or refusal of services based on appearance, age, or similar factors. (advantage for the ugly guys)
Where to source sugar babies:
-Sugar Sites: while they seemed more popular and had more members five years ago, still serve as valuable resources for finding sugar babies, especially since the intentions of both parties are usually clear. I've noticed that many girls create an account, connect with one or a few guys, then temporarily delete their accounts before repeating the process, so staying active and checking frequently is important. I've only used Seeking, but there are other platforms and apps as well, perhaps someone else can provide more detail on those. In my experience, having a premium account on Seeking is essential for success, as it shows you are serious, aren't completely broke, also allows you to share private photos.
-Dating Apps are, in my opinion, one of the best ways to find sugar babies nowadays. For starters, you know that the people you’re engaging with are single. If you want to avoid getting a "sugar daddy" reputation, it's important to be subtle. You'll likely come across some girls who aren’t interested, but you'll be surprised at how many are, especially if you’re decent-looking and younger. I've used Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge for this purpose, and I find Hinge to be the most effective because you can message someone without needing to match first, although all of them have their merits. Raya is also great especially when travelling, but its tough to get on there for most guys.
-Social Media is an excellent tool for finding sugar babies, particularly Instagram, but platforms like TikTok and Snapchat can also be effective. Similar to dating apps, you'll want to be subtle in your messages, especially if you're using your personal account. Creating a burner account that appears real can work, but you’ll likely have better success with an authentic-looking profile, especially if you're attractive or showcase a luxurious lifestyle. I have a second burner Instagram that doesn’t reveal my face and looks legitimate, which I use occasionally, but my personal account has yielded the best results. I usually keep my language vague enough to maintain plausible deniability, and then introduce the sugar daddy concept once the conversation moves to more private channels like text or Snapchat.
-Onlyfans: Not just OnlyFans, but also Fansly and other similar sites. I've had success finding local OnlyFans girls and offering to be their sugar daddy. You just need to be careful with your language because platforms like OnlyFans don’t want you using terms that imply meeting in real life. However, most OnlyFans girls do have sex for money.
How to be succesful at sugar dating:
The most successful individuals in the realm of sugar dating tend to be those who are reasonably attractive, maintain good physical fitness, possess charisma and conversational skills with women, be relatively young, and have at least above-average financial success. Do you need all of those qualities to succeed in sugar dating? Not necessarily. However, if you aim to attract the most desirable and in-demand women, having most or all of those traits will be important.
If you're extremely wealthy, think $50 to $100 million plus or more, you'll find success relying solely on your money, without needing the other traits. However, if your net worth is between $1 million and $10 million, it's beneficial to possess some additional qualities. For those earning low to mid-six figures or less, you may achieve some level of success, but you'll likely need to target more attainable women unless you have a well-rounded appeal beyond just your finances.
But to be honest, if you’re a good-looking guy who isn’t too old, is fit, and has a bit of charm, you can definitely still succeed. You’ll just need to manage your finances wisely and be shrewd in your negotiations.
Regardless of where you stand, it's important to remember that you're competing with other men, so you should stay sharp and be aware of your strengths. This isn't like hiring escorts, where a provider will see any man who passes their screening, shows up at their door and pays their rate. In sugar dating, the most attractive women can afford to be selective, they can assess and vet potential partners and have plenty of options.
That said, it’s important to recognize your leverage. There are many more sugar babies than there are men who can and want to be sugar daddies. So, if you can afford to be one and possess attractive qualities, you hold more leverage in this dynamic compared to most sugar babies. It’s a straightforward case of supply and demand: sugar daddies are in limited supply and are highly sought after.
Don’t allow women to manipulate you. There are many who may try to take advantage of you, so it’s important to stand your ground. Be ready to walk away or negotiate if someone is asking for too much. If a woman isn’t delivering on her promises or if the arrangement isn’t mutually beneficial, don’t hesitate to step back. Likewise, if she is being rude or disrespectful, it’s best to cease communication. While this may seem like common sense, I thought it was worth mentioning. If you’re a particularly passive or desperate man, you might want to reconsider engaging in sugar dating, as you could end up being exploited.
Do not make an escort your sugar baby. Don’t let escorts shame you for choosing or preferring sugar dating. If you come across an escort on Seeking or if a woman you meet is behaving too much like an escort, walk away. Never turn an escort into a sugar baby. Also, be aware that you might see escorts online using gaslighting and shaming language towards sugar daddies and those who prefer sugar dating; just ignore it. Escorts often see sugar babies as a threat to their business. Many escorts may not be attractive enough to succeed in sugar dating, and if they were, they likely wouldn’t be escorting. Having encountered many escorts in Vancouver and across North America, I've found that the average escort is about a 5 or 6 out of 10 in looks, often even lower. They can’t compete with the 8s and 9s in the sugar baby world, which leads to jealousy and attempts to shame men for pursuing sugar babies. (If you're an escort reading this, I apologize in advance, this message is intended for a male audience. I've encountered many wonderful escorts, Im just being honest, as harsh at it is)
This should be common knowledge, but I'll mention it briefly: Avoid being creepy, disrespectful, or rude, and always practice good hygiene. It really should go without saying.
How to set up an arrangement:
Once you've made contact, share with the potential sugar baby what you're looking for and your terms, and take the time to listen to their perspective as well.
Once you’re aligned, many guys opt to arrange an unpaid "meet and greet," like a quick coffee or drink, to see if there’s a good connection. It’s also an excellent way to verify that the woman resembles her pictures. While some guys may bypass this step or offer a small amount of cash for it, it's generally a common practice in the sugar dating scene. If she’s not receptive to this idea, it may indicate that she has something to hide.
In terms of arrangement types, there’s usually the "standard arrangement," where the guy pays a woman a set monthly amount, and then there's PPM (pay per meet). My experience has been exclusively with PPM, and I’ve had some fairly long-term arrangements. From what I've seen, most women also prefer PPM, as it allows for more flexibility and reduces expectations. Even if you're ultimately interested in a "standard arrangement," I recommend beginning with PPM and transitioning to it once trust has been established.
When it comes to how much you should be paying or the PPM amounts, it can vary significantly based on several factors, such as the duration of each meet and the activities you engage in. It might be wise to establish different PPM rates depending on what you do together and how much time you spend with each other. I believe the amount can vary significantly depending on how much she likes you or how attractive you are. I've had several arrangements where a woman receives a lower PPM amount from me while getting significantly more PPM from another sugar daddy. However, she’s willing to accept less from me because she finds me more appealing than him.
Regarding average PPM amounts, my perspective is based solely on my own experiences. I would estimate that it can range from $0 to $1000 per PPM, with $500 likely being the average amount most girls request. While some may ask for more, being firm about the number you're comfortable with typically results in them agreeing to a lower amount. There are also plenty of women who simply want to date a rich guy and don't expect an allowance. They are interested in experiencing the lifestyle that comes with spending time and doing things with a wealthy man. However, don’t make this assumption if this is what she wants, she will communicate it to you.
While this all seems potentially less costly than hiring escorts, and it can be, and a lot of times is, it really depends on the arrangement, the woman, and the activities you engage in together. Sometimes, when you include expenses like dinners, drinks, hotel rooms, and travel, it can end up being just as expensive, if not more so, than seeing escorts. So, be wise with your finances and avoid spending beyond your means.
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